A dark guide for those who fall in love with a cheater
When you want to keep a cheater because it is far worse to be alone than getting cheated by.
Well, everyone wants a world that is peaceful and lovely for them. Alas, it often goes awry when the time comes for things to work out. What is it we truly want, was it love or the dream that we could have the attention of someone else?
That fact is a key, a crack on the massive walls we built that is going to be exploited by those that is unworthy possessing cunning mind. We human have strong mind, yet inside we harbor a fragile heart compared to the unforgiving scenario the world had laid down. The fact that we need someone to validate our existence (which also present in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs) is where we might fall for those who do not intend to be with us except to exploit the benefit of things in the first place.
We have talked lots about what is love, and how it sometimes blind our senses with the euphoric reactions created by the multitude amounts of hormones flooding our brains. It injured our common sense, we are practically a sitting duck, or a penetrated Troy with its walls effectively nullified. Love is the key to play with our heart. It is not as if love is a bad thing, though it indeed has a fatal flaw when it is not controlled by a sound logic and calculative mind in the first place. Many people has sailed, wrecked, and sunk towards the abyss of darkness that is made by this natural born cheater that has broken millions of hearts.
Here’s the thing, when we’ve depleted and denied happiness and attention we deserve, it bounds to make us to crave for it regardless of the consequences. As some friend of mine said that they always got and have enough share of a bad luck in a relationship, this dulls their sense of self-worthiness. If they are not careful — in which this person did regardless of what has been done — , they’d falsely think that they’re in love when they really just in pain. And from that, just as the song Ashe sung, some mistake get made.
Cheaters are often social butterflies, but don’t mistake it for generalizing that all social butterflies are inherent cheater, No. But, extroverts who are easy to befriend and get hold and knowing how to win someone’s heart sure have easier time when they became a manipulative person. When a person knew how to steer people’s opinion, it is not impossible for one to be believed more than their victims.
People who is lacking of affection like that will not only craves for constant attention, but might also develop a possessive traits that birthed from their own insecurities. They are like a thirsty traveler in the middle of a scorching desert, what little water they could get hold on to, they’d never let go. We are hardwired to survive, and thus when basic needs are not a concern anymore in our life, this pattern follows to other aspects regarding our life choices.
Possessive people often have a hard time of letting go, their insecurities made them afraid of losing and being alone once again. Second chance or third chance, they have no problem of giving it to those they hold so dear. When it is a cheater they gave their attention to, like a cat given a fish, they’d certainly rip and devour that trust in no time.
“What is destined for you would never slip away from your hand, so go with the flow for I do not know where the river guides me and put me to someone’s heart and theirs to mine.”
I know a person that is like that, in fact this is that person’s story of how they survive a straining and soul-draining relationship with a cheater. They’d been exploited for so long, that finally letting go of that grip of malice would leave them wound inside their soul. In its final days, this person scream in pain begging for the status quo to be upheld, unknowingly that it might destroy them even further down the way. Here’s the sum of the story from the dialogue we have in the past.
So, is there second chance a possessive person like you gave this miserable cheater back then?
With a person that has to suffer with love deprivation, and worsen by a condition called “highly sensitive person”, to let go when you finally get hold of the attention you’ve been craving for so long, it is not exactly the easiest thing to do. Like a person that is so afraid of the dark, such fear would drive one’s logic sideways. That result into me giving the abuser their second and third chance and tolerating their behavior regardless of how bad and how heavy the weight of the deed is.
I mean, if I am not that forgiving you won’t hear the story about me, the affairs, and how I finally react to them (the person who my partner have an affair with). I think people deserve a chance, for I wish that people would grant me that when I made mistake. But then three times is my limit because that means they are really such a garbage for breaking my third chance.
Say that affair is regardless of the weight of the deed, what if your partner had sex with that person (since on where we live, this is pretty much heavily breaking the moral standard, and mostly not forgiven)?
If it was me, I’d look deeper into that matter. I’d observe how my partner tendency actually is, like whether if they actually reconnect and do that so often that it led to some more serious relationship between them. So one night stand, doing so with prostitutes, or just messing around with them so-called “friends” and “friend with benefits” is fine by me. I won’t count such behavior as cheating, or so I guess.
But if that affair threaten my position as the primary partner that could be cast away pretty much anytime. By then and only then I would finally taking action in order to prevent that from happening. I don’t know, I kinda hard to believe that people out there could hold a monogamous relationship in this time and age, so things like this is not really out of the line for me.
I mean, look, even God is an entity that is all-forgiving for whatever mistakes we had done in his world. So, isn’t it wrong for us not to be forgiving as well for that? But then again, don’t forget that I had the three times as a limit, in which if my partner break that and my trust altogether, I’d sever the ties and say goodbye. You are not for me, you can leave me and find another one out there that suits your needs better.
Well, if you are that forgiving that is good. But then logically speaking of the consequences of that action, are you not afraid of any STDs to occur in the future by letting your partner to do such an open-relationship kind of behavior?
That’d be very dependent of each case, one can not and should not generalize things without carefully looking towards the situation and condition at hand. Plus, I have this intuition that I often believe could see what and how it actually is. Like, you can see the spark of my partner’s eyes for me as a visible sign whether that love is still there or has it already waning off.
If my partner’s love and affection is still visible to see there, I might forgive what action took place. Yet, if that spark already died off then I’d decide to just let go. This might be probably due to how exhausted my mental energy has become, I’ve been through soo much you see.
But, sure, to counter that behavior my partner has and that (probably) insatiable carnal appetite, I’d make sure to check my partner’s medical condition constantly for at least once in every six months. If I had known that they had often do “that” in a regular basis, I’d also make sure to drill the understanding of the importance of safe sex and to always bring protection anytime it happens. Additionally, I might also give some threat to ruin my partner’s life had they gave me STDs — especially HIV and AIDS — and to make sure they’d suffer for the rest of their life. They had ruin mine after all, so it is justified.
That is — on a side note — if I still am madly in love with my partner as a prerequisite for that to happen. If it is possible for me to let go then I’ll just let it go, you see. So yea, let’s see what kind of game it is, ahaha.
Wow, turns out you are such a chill person in this matters huh? I mean, if your partner end up pregnant or impregnating someone, that’d incite a legal problem to both of you in the future, isn’t it?
Well, you could say that. I mean, beyond that super dreamy land that exist on one of my mind, you haven’t seen my other personalities that I had don’t you? I mean, I love pink, pastels, and rainbows and yet I also love black alongside it all. That might be a good analogy for you to properly see me and the situation at hand. It is never be always rainbow and butterfly in every person, some darkness might exists.
But I didn’t think that far, as in if my partner end up fallen into getting pregnant or impregnating someone else. I mean when I fall in love with someone, I might be really be a slave to my own love towards that person you see? It is that bad most of the time.
So, how do you control them (your partner in love) from doing something that might bring you harm in the future?
Say this, from what had happened with my past partner that I had hard time getting away from on the past months. I mean, this person has a lot — like A LOT — of affair partners out there. You see to whom did I direct my mental attacks due to their messed-up relationship , it is their love-affair partners and not my lovely partner. Since I love them so much that I don’t think I could ever try to act against them in the first place. The good thing is, that is in the past and I am beyond that already.
Believe me, it is more effective when you target their love affair partner rather than them directly. The nature of their relationship I think would naturally make him or her insecure and thus easier to dealt with by manipulating their feeling. Most of the time I’d employ the reverse psychology strategy.
What does that mean? It means that the cheating partner is not only they themselves but there are more, a lot more than they first expect. I’d tell them that there’s this A, B, and C person, and that such treatment of getting cheated might not exclusively be mine alone when the time comes. I’d make sure to make them saw me as fellow victim just like him or her as opposed to make them pity me. Thus they’d lose their feeling of love, admiration, or whatever that there is upon my partner and gradually go away from them. In the end when that happens, I’ll be the one who wins, my effort to hold it all from my partner pays off.
Though, I’d remind you again that it only happens if I really am deeply in love with my partner. So then I’d do everything to make sure they are protected from those malicious people with ill intent. As such, that also means getting rid of their cheating partner with whatever means necessary discreetly.
It was always happen that my partner would realize that those people are gradually making distance and disappearing from them for whatever reason. Yet since they do not know that I know that they cheat on me and having affair with those people out there, they can not get mad at me. That’d risk revealing their true nature and end up losing in an argument. If such argument happens where they accuse me of playing dirty behind their back, then and only when the time is right I’d lay down all data, chart, and proof from my archives to strip them off of their self-righteous façade. In the end when that happens, I’ll be the one who wins again.
This is a dark way to keep your relationship and your partner intact when you fall in love with them, a cheater. It sounds nasty, it looks nasty, yet you might still be seen clean in front of your partner and the others. I’m currently like this for now, but I’m also a normal human, there’d be time when I got so tired that I eventually let them go anyways just like what had happened. I mean, I am not trying to be overconfident here but I do looks attractive and had a lot of other people flocking over me — albeit some just want to be casual or looking for FWBs — that could replace my cheating lovers if I wish it to be so.
Trauma did change your personality a lot huh, I mean you aren’t like this the first time I know you. Do you mind if I write an article about this story of yours?
Ahaha sure, do make that story a thread later on, OK? That could also probably due to my MBTI that changes from ISFP to be INFP. I think that is why I became more philosophical rather than whom I was that wished people to just get crazy over me and my talents. Anyway, see you later.
